My wife wants to separate

[SM34]

GH31 thank you for the advice and the words of encouragement. Please add me to your list so you can stop by my thread from time to time and give me pointers. I have been posting a lot of what is happening as a journal and so I can collect my thoughts and be able to read them to myself later when situations change. I also want input from everyone else who has been in this position. We need to help each other! Or more so I need help! When I have more experience in this, I will be able to help others too.

I have a question. I want to read all the books I can read. So far, I only get to read when W goes to spend the night at OM. Is it OK to read relationship books infront of her? I think that it would send a message that I am trying to learn, but also she was very firm in saying it was too little too late during the first day or two of this saga. What is everyone's opinion?

By the way, I'm sure you are thinking that I need to man up and tell her she cant stay at our house and see OM whenever she wants to go stay there. But, I am trying to act is if we are friends and we need to stay together to help raise our daughter. I am basically buying time, hoping I can make changes in myself and the way I show her love, and perhaps also that her R with OM will fall apart somehow (could be wishful thinking). What do you think on this?

Our interactions are very pleasant. When I play with our daughter and make her laugh, W says "Daddy loves you so much". When I successfully get her bathed and fed and into bed at a reasonable time (when W is away for the night) she will message me to see how it is going with daughter. When I tell her she is already sound asleep I get a "Good job daddy!" message. I think that is a good foundation that she sees me step up to the plate and be the awesome daddy that I am, and be able to take over some of her duties. I think for W it is more of letting me walk in her shoes so to speak, rather than abondonment. She thinks I never appreciated all that she has to do and all that she puts up with as far as our over active child goes. So now she gets to watch me handle it on my own, and I am proud to say I am owning it!! Last saturday I played with my daughter all afternoon. Then I got her fed, bathed, and in bed at a reasonable time. Sunday when she woke up, I made breakfast, then took her to play at an indoor playground she loves to go to. We were there much longer than my W would have taken her for. Then we went home and I made lunch for D. We played a little at home and outside, then I took her to the park for another round of playing. My W was stuck 1.5 hours away because OM had failed to tell her he had something to do on Sunday and so she spent the whole day waiting for him without a car, and messaging me to see what we were upto. She was supposed to come spend sunday with us, but because of OM she had to sit and watch, and see how wonderful of a daddy I am. I love my little princess!