Went to the doctors. He suggested ADs for the anxiety and counselling. "Major depression" was his diagnosis. I truly did not see that one coming. He thought that I was already extremely stressed when the BD came it was not the cause, but the trigger, and then with the other famly issues, my body and brain were just screaming No More!
So, I am trying to take things a bit easy but always have this nagging in my head that my work is suffering and there are a gazillion deadlines that I have to meet...etc...etc.
Spoke to x-partner about the insurance. Asked point blank if he felt I was going to run away with his money (seriously not that much money)? He assured me "Sweetie" that was not the case. I do not believe him. The funny thing is that he had previously told me that I could keep the refund although I never intended to. How quickly they forget. And seriously, he was the one who lied and cheated...and I am the one who can't be trusted? Sorry, I am trying not to obsess but this must be how Alice felt in Wonderland.
I wonder, for those of you experiencing an MLC SO, if any of the MLCers still dig far back and talk of good memories with you? Mine seems to dwell in the past quite a bit. The re-writing of history is in regard to feelings only - haven't loved you in years - but the memories are good. I do not think this means anything, it was curiously "off script".
He said he would call me the next night, but didn't. I am not surprised. Haven't heard from him since.
Otherwise, I have not been as preoccupied with him as the above seems to suggest. I am going to really have to look after myself. No one else will, if I don't. I will consider myself extremely blessed if the ADs bring back my ability to concentrate on work. Rather horrified that I need them, but if they work, then so be it.
