Ruby I struggle too. Sometimes I feel like I am emotionally ready to be 'friends'. Then I remember PA/OW. I remain 'friendly only' since I found out about PA. When he is in town, he is here a lot with the kids. Thats been tough to navigate. I think I am still not solid enough to not get expectations up when this happens (as I have posted recently), so 'friendly only' seems to be the best option for now, given our kids.

Sometimes I think, why can't I just treat him like an ex boyfriend? Or even, someone I like and just want to hang out with. No expectations, yet friendly...maybe even becoming friends.

I also fear being too friendly and being looked upon as a fool by him.

I think it takes awhile to truly develop a friendship after this trauma. Not that it is impossible, but it needs to be mutual, with repeat and trust. Sometimes I feel I could at some point. I don't see H being ready to do that though. He has put up a very thick wall between us.

Just my thoughts. I think focus on 'friendly only' rather than 'friends' for now. Friends involves trust.

((((((( ))))))

TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home