Stand up, poor and tired, but STILL more than this

[labug]

I wasn't strong the whole time. There was definitely dehabilitating days where I could not get out of bed. There were days where I couldn't get past the anger. There were days where I cried and cried, days where I talked everything through with my BFF and the people on this board. There were days were I did all of it.

I considered it a good day if I got out of bed. An even better day if I could go to work. And a great day if I could do both. Eventually I worked in eating, and then exercising.

It took time. And a lot of effort. A LOT of effort.
I couldn't imagine the self-reflection I REALLY needed to do. What I still do. Everything was about what H did, and what he didn't do. Then I questioned my own motives and reactions. I read into everything H said. Good or bad.

I read and reread the rules, the book. I read into the success stories, trying to figure out how to make that mine.

I didn't realize that in it's own way, I would feel like a success on my own. For me - it was saving myself. Saving myself from lies, from having to justify bad behaviors and weaknesses (both mine and my husband's...) I looked at every angle, every excuse I had... I am still not perfect, but I look at my motives, what fuels triggers, and how to stop myself from spiraling.

Great post, LIO!

I think it's the amount of self-reflection and learning to sit with our feelings that causes people to drop out after a short while.

This is hard stuff. Thanks for the post which I just re-read.

You are a success story!