Vent your butt off!! Just say okay, don't say have fun...you don't mean it. You need to get out. Find a GAL activity a couple of nights a week. Sign up for a continued ed. class at local Uni or college, volunteer.... you need to get out of the house. Sign kids up for an activity that you take them to; swimming play date, kid's art/yoga/dance/gymnastics...whatever!!!
If funds are tight, then take them out to McD's playland in winter after supper and buy a cookies to share. Find a community centre that has activities for kids, go to beach or swimming-you live in Cali for g-d's sake!! It was -18 here the other day!!!
Get away. Get out of house. Take kids with you to an activity if absolutely necessary to begin GAL, but I suggest you GAL at least one night on own.
It seems as if you wait and wait for W changes, and when they don't come, you spiral into this.
I have to have less contact with H (and we are separated and it is easier to detach-but harder to show changes as posted) in order to not begin that obsessive thinking again. Since you are in the same house, this is why I suggest getting out in evenings, to create that space.
