SS, keep working on you, it's your ticket out of he!!. Your husband may notice and want that as well. Either way you will be stronger and better. I'm working on my list of 180's and goals are you? Lets do this together. I'll show you mine if you show me yours lol. Hugs and encouragement from Tennessee.
Keep moving forward, one step at a time.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.