From Survivng to Thriving & backslides in between.

[job]

Kimmerz,
You are doing great considering all the bs he's been tossing at you. Yes, if he had gone quietly, like a normal person going through a divorce, versus an emotional basket case, you would have healed quicker. It's the dance of push me/pull me that drives a person crazy. One minute they are spewing, the next they want to be friends and very seldom is there an apology in the mix. Not a normal way to handle things as adults. What you are seeing is called cycling.

I had to chuckel when I read your posting and saw that he's now actually emailing you. LOL! I'm surprised he was able to IM from his phone if his service had been disrupted, etc. You've told him several times to work out things w/his Ds directly and yet he continues to contact you. Maybe he hasn't realized that he can include you on the emails he sends his Ds...he's just a complete emotional mess. Oh, well...he'll figure things out in a year or so (hopefully).

I don't know why he is grilling them this early about when to pick them up. Christmas Eve is five days away and a lot can happen during that time. Plans change, people get sick, etc. It's not like you and your Ds aren't aware of what is to take place, but this is a symptom of mlc and he's just taking it to another level right now. Holidays do tend to make them a bit nutsy.

Men go through changes just as we women do. They don't usually talk about it, but yes, mlc is very much like a severe case of pms, but lasts a very long time. I remember hearing the old saying that women "go through the change of life" and now I think about using that statement for men going through mlc.

Kimmerz, I'm glad you've dropped the rope. You are looking at things differently and I can see where you are focusing more on your Ds and yourself. I hope that after the holidays your xh settles down and ceases some of his antics.

Take care of yourself.