The green green grass of home. (Part 2 )

[Soul.Searching]

Thanks RT and LITB. At BD we were living week to week. We were in debt with no savings. So all I'm entitled to is $70 a week. He has been paying that, so the rest is none of my business.

Lastnight was pretty good. I took the kids to go see the Christmas lights. H usually drives. This was the first year I did and I got lost. Lol
I didn't feel too good, my whole body was aching. I wasent really sad though. It was strange. The kids loved it and we got out and walked some of the way. H never used to want to do that, so this year we did.

I took the kids to pick out a pressent for H today. We seem a mug that said " Worlds best husband" D9 pointed it out. She said it would be good if I could get that for H but I probably couldn't because we have split up.
That was kind of sad. Still aching today but I think it's slightly better than yesterday.

I have a family member who has been taken to hospital and may not make Christmas. I called H and told him and he told me about one of his family members being taken back to hospital. It just feels like such a big mess.

H was out Christmas shopping for the kids. It's strange because that Hurt. It hurts that his so far away shopping for the kids without me. It hurts that his probably buying something special for OW. I know mind reading and predicting but it's hard not to sometimes.

H did not contact me at all today and seemed really distant when I called him to tell him about the sick family member.
He also hasent talked to the kids for three days. I was going to put them on the phone tonight but he said he had to go before I mentioned it.

Seems like he is really distancing himself now. I know I asked for it, I know it's probably what I need but it still hurts. It hurts knowing he is moving on without me. Moving on with someone else instead.

It hurts and it's hard. Yep I'm back to having a pity party!