That's really helpful, thank you. That is exactly the kind of insight I was hoping for. And I understand it isn't easy to put up with it long term (my saying "I can do it" was more an answer to what I understood to be a question of "Am I ready and willing to go through this right now?", which I am). If I need to, I suppose I can re-evaluate it if I start pulling out my hair or something....
I will need to really take this in for a bit before implementing it for my first try - I'll probably read it again a few hundred times, ha ha! But really, as you mentioned, preparing is key. And I guess I've never had enough boundaries that weren't also ultimatums or threats -I honestly didn't know how to do this stuff. I'm not expecting miracles up front, although when I can detach I notice my experience being around him is a whole lot smoother. And I am lucky in that at least we're still genuinely liking each other's company. I just need to stand watch on my impulses until it's more natural again. Great great suggestions, thank you again!
