Stuck between a hard place and the biggest rock.

[MrBond]

Now I'm sick and tired of being the nice guy and seeing nothing in return."

And that's why you aren't getting anywhere in your situation.

"Anyone normal would have already come back or at least sat down to talk."

Uh no. Shows how little you understand things.

"I'm starting to think she's not worth the fight."

You've thought that from the beginning and have changed very little.

"If she had a little bit of heart or compassion, she wouldn't let me go through all of it the way I did. She's clearly not a good-hearted person."

Again, thinking about yourself. She very methodically explained why she did what she did and you haven't changed your character to show you're different. It's all been a ruse.

"From this day on, I'll more than back off, I'll ignore her."

Very mature. Also I don't think that would help your situation with you son when you don't know very much about him.

"It's taking its toll on me I realize. I'm not the happy person I used to be, I'm destroyed inside."

Because you've allowed yourself to feel that way.

"She may not come back. Too bad."

With the way you've been acting, it really doesn't seem like that much of a loss for her. Honestly.

"Even if she did, it hurts so much inside after what she's done, I'm not sure it would have been the same anyway."

This is your ego talking.

"If it wasn't for S, I would go back to France, to a monastery or something. I'm through with the world."

I think you need to see a C for this.