Same Old Wagon Wheel Part 6

[theUF]

What I tell myself about detachment. I can try to do what comes across as detached, by acting like this or that. However I think it is easy to see through.
But the more I work on detaching, the more detached my mindset becomes, and the more genuin and natural it becomes.
Detaching is OK. I can always reconsider if things head towards R.

I do feel like everyone says I'm obsessive on here. Isn't part of this forum to post and journal.

Yes, but from what you journal it seems you are pretty far from detached and obsessed about her actions.

She came back just now 45 minutes later and not talking to me. I have no clue. Whole thing was fn strange. Almost like she left for a phone call. I wish I could pull phone records.

Like this. You mindread what she did. You find it fn strange and wish you could find out what she did. That's b/c your attached and focused on her.



We're in the same position about there not being a confirmed OM am I right?

My X showed interest in a guy before BD, flirted with him and even told him she didn't want to friendzone him. I don't know where that stands now BUT

I found out by chance, through my fb events calender, that two days before christmas, while I am home with my S, she will be going to a party. This guy and a couple others are the hosts. So she will be partying with him, TWO days before christmas eve, while I am home alone with S.

It [censored], sure. I would rather it not happen, sure. That one event may be the one thing that destroys any chance at reconciliation. BUT;
I don't ask about it.
I didn't even journal about it.
Because:
-I'm a bit detached.
-I can't control it. All energy put in it, is wasted.
-Asking, wondering, digging etc would only be damaging.
-I will give my attention to S, who deserves it. Not to a woman who is treating me like chit.

I know it's hard man. It would for sure be harder for me if we lived together 24/7.



Say you find the info you seem to need. What will that accomplish?
Say she has an affair or OM. Does that equal divorce? Will you continue DB'ing? What will be you're actions?

Why not continue working on yourself and DB'ing for now? Most affairs get brought to light sooner or later anyway, no?