well... im finding myself a little down today... i havnt seen my kids in almost 6 days and its really getting to me. the W hates me and i cant seem to shake that either. its like ill be fine then i see something whether it be on tv or on the side of the road or on facebook and it reminds me of my W, or of what i once had and what i want again... today has been difficult and its still morning... im kinda not sure what more to do, i try my best to not contact my W, i try to stay busy, do what i can to GAL. but nothing is helping my sitch or the way i feel... maybe my head is that messed up from this? i didnt even call my son last night to say goodnight because i felt like thats my still being around and how can my W miss me if she can speak with me. its like she is happy im doing my own thing because she is really enjoying do her own thing. i see her so damn happy and content on her little happy go lucky new "single life". when we have talked and ive asked her what she is up too she says "well its none of your business because your not apart of my life now" or "its none of your concern because ive moved on". i guess thats apart of detaching... not really caring what they say and what there doing... but willi get to that point? because eventho im doing everything i can to detach in the back of my mind i still want this relationship. the other day my son was eating dinner and out of the blue was like "daddy this isnt fair" and iwas like whats not fair buddy? he said "you and momma not being home together". that type of stuff just kills me inside. and makes me want the relationship that much more. i guess im in need of a pick me up... damn
M: 25 W:23 M: 4 years T: 10 years S:5 S1 BD: 8/20/12 Sep: 11/12
