I issued the ultimatum to my H last week...and he chose me and our family . But he is angry..and hurtful and at times sarcastic.

I have been trying to validate his feelings and emotions, I have been trying to appreciate how he feels. I told him I understand his feelings.

I took our kids christmas shopping and they wanted to see him as he works out of town...he was still so angry that he didn't want to see me...stayed at work extra late...so we told the kids we wouldn't be able to see him as he didn't finish work until late in the evening then he would be up first thing..back to work. He said he would be home on the 22nd.

I told him I understood...did not get angry..left..went home..went to see my family the next day and the kids finished thier shopping. I never spoke to him other then to wish him a good day at work.

Yesterday he asked if I was excited about our Christmas plans, and I said yes, but was anxious. I asked him if he was, he said if he didn't want to go, he wouldn't. Then asked me why.. I said "US" and that I was giving him space like he asked me to..and I was giving myself space, because I respected him and loved him, and that I understood how he felt, and the last thing I wanted to do was upset him.

So, I haven't been talking to him much...other then the occasional text. Yesterday, I recieved flowers, thinking they were from him I texted him and said thank you, it turned out my son sent them to me for my birthday. ( They share the same name.) I said my apologies, I assumed they were from you, made a joke about it. And he replied that it was nice to talk to me.

So now what? I still feel angry. I have tried to validate his feelings, and be undertanding to what he is going through, but find myself still angry and anxious it had to come to this point. I now constantly wonder if he chose to stay with me and our family because he truly loves us, or if he felt coerced to. I am resentful for that, as well as I get to live with his lifetime of wondering if he made the right choice or wonder what if. I still feel resentful and his lack of considertaion for me, my feelings. It feels like all of this is about him. And then I wonder if they are still in contact...I haven't asked him yet, not sure what to do there.

Do I ever get any consideration or validation? He won't go to counselling as he feels he doesn't need it. I don't want to brush this under the rug..but also do not want to keep validating how he feels and ignoring how I feel? Is this unreasonable? I am not sure what to do or how to feel. Somedays I feel like I am going crazy. Please advise ...someone..I feel like I am losing my mind.