I hate this roller coaster ride. I wake up and I feel like crap. Im pushing myself to keep going but it is not easy as i'm sure everyone knows. I am asking God to take all this negitive crap away from me. But i still feel bad. So im here dumping it out here.
Last night i was at the store and saw my step son. he stopped and said Hi. He had just got out of court. He has 3yr probation and a large fine. Unlike his sister his dad will help him. But it just brings up so much. I love that kid and hope one day he gets it..
So maybe seeing him is making me feel this way today. I dont know. I just know that if im being honset with myself as i always try to be. I miss those kids. I miss having my wife around. I miss spoiling her like i always did. I pray every day that God will see it in his heart to give us a 2nd chance. I know all things are possable threw him. God hates divorce as well. so i keep hoping. Just sometimes it brings me down. like now. it could be I'm getting closer to the holidays i dont know. I just want to talk to my wife hug my wife. but just still seems like she is so cold to me and well most everyone......
