This was in answer to an email about I thought he misunderstood what I wanted in our lives:
. I do not think there is a misunderstanding at all. You were very clear when we spoke that you did not want me in your life and you did not want to know about mine. I completely and fully understand that. You said you were finally happy and moving on. If we are not to be involved in each others lives on a personal level then that would leave the children. Again I understand. I will always ask" are you good with that" because I want to respect your boundaries.
My reply;
Ah, see, you are in my life because of the children and I am moving forward everyday. While I am not going into how I feel about you it is my goal to be in exactly the same place should you be back in my life or should we be on separate paths. You know my feelings about you and they haven't changed. What has changed is the finding that happiness comes from within, not without.
He replied with " we said the same thing".
He really wants that level of intimacy and friendship, but I think I had to define this boundary quite clearly and I feel I did it with grace and only a little outside db boundaries.
He brought up the R first, so I continued the topic. Simply stated you know how I feel it hasn't changed as I am aware his haven't changed either. But that is because, possibly, there was still the opportunity for him to hold onto that emotional intimacy.. He has GF, but there is comfort in having someone to fall back on who knows you so well. I think it was a necessity for me ( and him). Me, because I easily mis read signals, especially since I still love him. For him, because it will be sink or swim time eventually and this is something he must do on his own, as he set out on this path without me.
So, no pacifier, no friends, lets set in for the long haul kids. I feel at peace today. Lets hope it lasts until noon...... : p
