Jigsaw is a good analogy. I think from what I saw, life to a MLCr is like a jigsaw. All the pieces fell on the floor and they try to put them back together without really knowing what the final picture should look like. I watched mine re-write history. I also watched her try to come up with a story many times. It was like watching a painter trying to interpret what they see. Each time she would have a "perfect" picture, she would add the final touches.. me.. and then would wipe it clean and start again. Like she was compelled to re-write in such a way it was my fault she was unhappy and leaving. I also suspect she struggled with that because there wasn't much to the story unless you re-imagined it. It was painful and fascinating to watch.
Do they believe it? I think they do for as long as they can. But like any memory you bury alive, it has a way of resurfacing and becoming something you have to face. I see that even now, years later. I doubt she'll remember half of what she said. I know if she did it would be devastating to a whole person. I also realize the day may not come where she faces it. That's a lot of energy spent trying to maintain the lies and I feel compassion for her for that.
I think it's a point in time re-remembering. I think somewhere deep down they do realize it is not true but don't know why or how to deal with it.
That's another part of this right? They don't really know how to deal with what's inside. So they revert to the only tool they know that will get things out - anger. Sadly, there comes a time when they either have to find a new target for the anger to keep it going, or when the LBS is long gone, find another way to deal with it.
Things can't stay static for long
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
