Stuck between a hard place and the biggest rock.

[Big Bruce]

Hi,
On the Xmas gift thing, being nice can't hurt. I will give her the cardigan, even if I get zilch.

On my lack of interest in things here, yes, I recognize that since I arrived I have been depressed for 6 solid months. Truth is, I'm not interested in living so much these days.

I know, not very attractive, and I put a mask on every time I'm around W. But I struggle the rest of the time. It's tough.

I want to back off, but still have to interact to arrange visits with S. And negotiate increased visits for that matter!

I felt a bit of patriotism in the response, I'm sorry, I didn't mean average american as disrespectful. The thing is that most of my colleagues spend their week-end in front of the tv watching sports or videogames, so there's not much going on here.
As for me, I stay in bed or do nothing until the visit time with S.
It comforts me to know that if I have S every other week, I'll be less lonely. Because for the moment, my life suks big time. I'm the loser.

In fact, looking back, I really succeeded in few things in life, maybe I was born to lose, feels like it right now, you have no idea.