The Adventures of GH31, Wife and Baby

[GH31]

Wow I've had my knuckles rapped since I came on here last. Sorry about that Mr. Beans, shan't do it agin.

My wonderful wife and I are simply getting on with life and are very busy raising our two toddlers amongst other things.

We talk all the time - we ring each other during the the day and chit chat or do something together most evenings. We are both very busy with various things but seem to find a way of being busy together. For example she might be at the computer writing something (she writes a lot) and I'll be sat next to or opposite her and she'll ask me the best way to write something. Or she'll ask me to come and read what she's written. She is also very helpful to me for a book I'm writing at the moment and gets things prepared for me so that I can get writing when I get home from work.

I suppose John Gottman would call this stuff "turning towards" each other.

The idiot box (television) is hardly ever on in our house. It has been well over a year since my wife and I watched TV together and I think that is a fabulous thing. The kids sometimes watch The Wiggles in the morning on DVD or Mickey Mouse but other than that it's never on.

We still do silly things like send little cards to each other in the post. She sometimes brings the children to my office and then we go out for a family lunch together.

Last night I let her cut my hair (she likes doing that) after dinner and then we ended up making love twice which was good. We are still intimate physically even after 13 years together. Long may it continue.

Maybe it's my inner salesman/sportsman talking but metrics are important to me. The level of "togetherness" or "connectedness" can be measured by how much chit-chatting we do and how often, how much time we spend together and how frequent the sexual intimacy is. Don't get me wrong, I don't go through life with a scorebook in my pocket or anything (!) but I keep and eye on stuff like that. I'll always be more vigilant now than before my world completely disintegrated in January 2008.

Life isn't without its challenges though. We have to find a new place to live which isn't easy in our city and the kids are tough to deal with at times (they're children doing what children do) and I am doing extra work to get our household income up. We are on a mission to pay off all our debts. The most important thing though is for these challenges to be taken on together. All marriages, including happy ones have challenges and "real life" to deal with - how (and whether) you handle it together makes all the difference.

I've learned many lessons on this DB board but am no expert. My wife and I have been married over ten years but I am still very much a novice and learning every day. I can scarcely believe how much I've grown up in those ten years. No doubt I still have much more growing up to do.

Just so very grateful for my marriage, my family and for the passage of time.

GH31