Stuck between a hard place and the biggest rock.

[MrBond]

"I don't expect to receive anything, but we'll see."

That "but we'll see" comment means that you are expecting something. Admit it. Don't be disappointed if you don't.

As for my activities, already when I was with W I gave up the extreme stuff, so W wasn't too worried. W just wasn't happy about the importance it had in my life."

I don't know how you can't see how contradictory your comment is. First you say you gave it up so she wouldn't be worried about you, then you say that she didn't understand how important it was for you. So which is it? Did you give them up for her? If you did, then you shouldn't feel resentful. In fact, you should be glad that she worried enough about your well-being.

"I married a girl who couldn't scuba-dive, rock-climb, mountainbike, etc.. so I guess it's kinda natural she didn't place those things a so important in her life, whereas for me they were why we're living for."

So what are you trying to say? Just because she doesn't like to do those things, doesn't mean that you hold that against her. And don't argue about that point. Your post just seethes of resentment of things you "gave up". Sorry but when you get married, you start giving things up as long as it gives the other person peace of mind. If you really didn't want to give them up then you shouldn't have married her. It's not like anyone forced you to.

"Also, I always had a gift for piano, painting, architecture, maths, litterature, physics, chemistry, being n 1 in school and all,.. at some point I was asked to be a model and also politically they wanted me to take responsibilities (which I refused) and probably people would have voted for me because I talk and appear well."

It's nice to see you haven't given up your ego.

"My rythm of life and busyness had little to do with her idea of average american guy. Right now, I'm living a life of going to work, coming home to eat supper, sleep and start over the next day. Here, none of the previous stuff is doable,"

WTH are you talking about? You can do all those things. Stop blaming the country and start looking in the mirror.

"but I'm here for the sake of being with W and S .--> If this isn't loving sacrifice, then what is?"

When you lament about how great you are and what you're "giving up" to have a child, it shows you haven't learned anything about humility. Which is what your W wants. All we've heard was mostly about YOUR NEEDS, what YOU look like, what YOU gave up. You haven't spent a minute thinking of your W's concerns and needs, or you manage to brush them off as insignificant compared to you.

"So,
1.I take it gratefully that she is acting all nice around me lately. I myself am very upbeat and debonnaire when she's around. (although inside, it's a volcano).

2. Making some space. I asked her out for Friday evening by email. She knows it, no need to insist, call or send e-mails.

3. Seeking more time with S. If we cannot work out with W a progressive parenting plan/agreement that leads to 50/50%, I won't bluff on the court thing, I'll launch the motions thing, no matter the cost. And before the judge I must have all the arguments so he grants me my petition. Therefore : I must increase my time alone with S.

4. Finally, keep my expectations low, keep DBing, don't expect a fanfare for every 180 I do, and be patient in actions, not so much in words.

I have it all pat down."

That was one of the most self-centered lists I have ever seen. You haven't learned anything about thinking about others instead of yourself.
Thanks.
B."