The Rewriting Of History

[Raine]

I think my husband completely believes his rewriting of history. A lot of times it's not completely wrong, but it's a very tunneled and narrow perceptive. He sees an event as if he is the only one in it, and can't see how anyone else felt at the time. He can remember me wanting to leave an event before he wanted to, and feeling like he missed out. He doesn't remember me being sick, or something with the kids, or babysitter limitations, or any other outside reasons. All he can see is that he missed out and it was my fault, and why it is my fault is inconsequential.

So when he brings these things up, I don't argue with him. That just backfires. I just acknowledge, listen and I'm sympathetic/apologetic if warranted. I believe the pain he feels from such events is in this moment genuine, and typically very on the surface, yet it's coming from such a self-centered place it takes a lot of willpower to be sympathetic and not look at him like a spoiled child.