Yep, and we did not make 17. Her folks have been through a lot in life. I mean a lot. They are survivors. Examples of dedication through all kinds of adversity. Thanks!
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Definitely. Kids say her folks appreciated the card. I wrote it in English and Portuguese (on-line tools to translate). It acknowldged their perseverence and thanked them for being there for me over the years especially 12 years ago when I was quite ill and in hospital for several months. Their life struggles and perseverance helped me push on and fight for my life. My W was instrumental in that too. Which is one thought I had in trying to work it out after her A...part of me felt I owed her one. Funny, through my health problems over the years (4 surguries in 8 years) the last 5 I have been healthier than ever as I am in A1 shape and it all screws up. I fought so hard and it worked out but losing the fight for my M and W. Irony or bad timing. I known my W has been through a lot with me and she even made me feel guilty about that a few months ago but I did so well supporting my family. She resents me so much.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
I am feeling down today after a strong couple of days. Is the 180/Last Resort Technique creating more distance and resentment between us? I know it is for me, but man is it tough. She just won't look at me or say simple good morning or goodnight or anything. I know, don’t expect anything from her. I am short on answers when she brings up questions about whatever...like asking me to take daughter to school over dinner last night as she had an early start today. I thought, I have for the past 10 years anyway taken the kids anyway…nothing has changed. I just said 'yep'. I now have trouble looking at her. Was she trying to open dialogue? Am I being too distant? My daughter was upset this morning. She spoke with her mother last night, so I only assume that is why. Last night she made dinner and sent my daughter to get me as it was ready...normally if the few times she does make dinner she never lets me know or sends one of them for me. Dinner was quiet and kept good face on for the kids. Could not look at W, although I think I caught her look at me a couple times….just not sure if it was with distain as usual as she turned away…it was obvious. W ate quickly and left the table to go upstairs. I sent a slice of pie with my youngest to bring to W. She ate it and put up some more decorations for Christmas quietly by herself. The other day she said the Tree was enough. I put out the nativity scene out the other day….it is a must.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Anyone out there have a good news story to tell and how it got there with a simliar sitch?
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Floyd, I understand how hard it is but I think you're doing fine with your DBing. As long as you aren't being mean, and it doesn't sound like you are, then you're doing what you need to. Try not to worry about what she's doing, thinking, or read into how she's feeling. If you read my sitch you know it's one of the things I really struggle with so I understand how you're feeling. I know the best thing (probably for both of us) is to GAL and create some detachment and let the big guy above figure out the plan for our future.
What things are you doing towards GAL?
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
Thanks Spartan, I have read your sitch. Some real similarities: talk vs stonewall, trust issues vs lying, control vs. feeling controlled. I don’t think I am being mean, but you never know how perceived. Just try to act distant and indifferent. She knows this is a change. I have not done too much GAL as I am the one normally home with kids, but going out for coffee with a pal tonight and dinner with a female friend on Thursday. Only issue with that is, I think she likes me and has made comments as such. She is D’d for 8 years, is very good looking and has a 12 year old. She has been flirty with me. She knows my sitch. I don’t think I am ready to cross any lines….I never have. Though My W has.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Hi RLA, I went to a couple bookstores the last couple days and they do not have it. I may have to download it. I wish there were a magic wand.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Maybe it's too sombre in the house. But if I start acting like all is great she will not trust that, right? How upbeat is too upbeat?
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
