can't tell the sky from the ground

[cantslowdown]

<http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2301341#Post2301341>

I really feel like this is where I belong. I'm not really sure.

So she took my family heriloom silver platter to a christmas party (that i was not invited to) and didn't ask me beforehand. I found it dirty this morning. I cleaned it properly, then went to ask her what she had put on it (it was sticky). She said christmas cookies for a party. I calmly asked that in the future she didn't take it outside the house to use, we have plenty of other platters that can be used that are not sentimental (or silver). It could have been cleaned improperly or stolen and I'm thankful that it wasn't. She raised her voice and called me dramatic. I kept my cool and restated that I wouldn't like it used outside the home and she did not need to raise her voice.

Is this a dramatic request? That my grandmother's silver platter only be used to serve treats within our home? Is this a good boundary? I'm not trying to control her so much as I am protecting my feelings of this being lost, stolen, or damaged. There is sentimental vlaue there and I enjoy using it at Christmas the same as my grandma did. She did not react well to my request. I stayed calm and left it at that. She has ears and can hear. i don't believe I need to repeat myself more.

I haven't been the best boundary setter so I tried to say this calmly and succinctly. Does her reaction speak more of a MLCer or a regular WAW? My stuff seems to have no value to her and she isn't exactly getting on with it when it comes to moving on. She seems more content to sit and stew in her own filth (by filth I mean this negative self centered attitude).