My objective is not to get her to unlock her phone. My objective is to start to build back trust in our relationship. I locked my phone 3 months ago because my W would snoop on there and see that I was venting about our marriage. She even found this forum by opening my browser on my iphone and read a thread where I stated she was nuts. At the time I thought having my phone unlocked was not helping our M. I couldn't control my A and I was venting and doing stupid things on my phone.

I decided to recently unlock it because I truly am not hiding anything and I hated the feeling I got when my 2 kids would ask for the passcode in front of W. I would have to tell them and then change passcode 1 hour later just for them to ask me for it again.

I know I need to stop obsessing about her phone being flipped over. I just found it very ironic when I started being more open about my stuff (phone unlocked) that she had many more less secretive nights with her phone. She even opened up to me and told me she txt OM (HS friend).

I feeled your challenge by journaling and I knew you would lay into me. I'll take the challenge again. I was honestly seeing positive strides at home by me making a small change on my phone and was sort of excited (accept last night she went into secret mode again)

Also just some more facts on OM (HS friend) He is divorced. He has a history of sleeping with OW who are having trouble in their relationships. When we were separated he was giving her advice on what to do for a divorce. Keeping vaca house from me etc.. So basically what I'm saying is this guy seems like more then a friend. They txt daily almost. I think just because I vent on here about it once and awhile doesn't mean I'm obsessing about it. Remember we live under the same roof and I deal with this behavior every day and all weekend and even on Holidays. So I feel I'm doing a pretty good job not reacting to it at home. There was a point that I didn't even want to post on here because I felt all my posts were taking out of context or as obsessing rather then a nice place to vent so I dont' do it at home.

I know that I have obsessive type behaviors but believe me I'm doing a lot better then I have in the past. If you might recall I use to call her MIL everyday 3 x's a day. I was really bad.

Drew I appreciate your feedback and only asked about your sitch to possible learn from it. When you get into this situation and everything seems so dark and there is no light at the end of the tunnel it gets tough. Being honest with you man. Everynight I go home and I just want to hug and kiss my F&*(&(&ing wife. I say to myself how could I move home in May and by July have my M completely fall apart again. I honestly feel deep down in my heart my W really wanted me to make mistakes just so she could say "I tried" and he did this etc..Mr. B hit the nail on the head one day. How did she try? She hasn't asked me one time to work on our marriage together or to go see a MC together.

I feel she does the phone stuff and other crap to try to get me to snap and leave the sitch.

Anyways I truly appreciate your input. I know you have been there etc.

I'll keep my posts on what I am doing for myself and what I am doing to help myself grow as a person.

It was nice to see a start of something positive last week.

I also find it ironic the first week I skip gym and meditation my anxiety spikes very high. I need to get back to that stuff because it obviously helps me. Recovery from tonsils is about a week out.