SS, it is difficult. I am sorry you are struggling, if their was anything I could do to help you I would. I have cried at the airport, Hobby Lobby, Wal Mart, and so many other places. I would never have thought I would have acted this way but the pain is intense. Give yourself a break let the tears and snot fly lol. Then gather yourself and take one more step forward. Then tomorrow do the same thing.
The MIL, don't mind read, if you need to know ask her. Trying to figure out what her motives are is pointless, it will drive you crazy. Sounds like a good 180 for you to write down, don't try to interpret other peoples feelings, if you want to know ask.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
