It's been a while, a long while. Most days I am to tired to think or wrote or feel. It's to hard to feel.
I signed the legal separation papers today, for the finances, H came over to pick them up, he cried when he left, he looked tired too, but wouldn't stay. I cried, I screamed, I couldn't help it. This is all so wrong. I got in my car and drove, I wanted to find him - I don't know where he is living at the moment. In moments I closed my eyes, screaming at the top of my lungs I didn't care. It's to hard. This hurts to much and I have no control.
It would be easier if he was being horrid, he is not. He is being fair with the money, giving me advice etc checking how I am. It makes it harder. How can someone you shared your life with become a stranger, this can not be happening.
He is seeing OW only the OW also has a boyfriend. It hurts I hate it, he is MY husband. Christmas approaching makes it all so much harder. I want to just sleep my days away. I am sad and lonely and frightened and angry and sometimes I just want to scream.
Please help me, the papers are signed, he says please appreciate it's over, be string an move on with your life. Help me.
