Stand up, poor and tired, but STILL more than this

[LIO]

His all!
Yes, I am still alive, actually more alive than I ever have been!
Thank you all for the great words.

I am filing divorce.

I realize I went. Into this trying to save my marriage. I realized that I ended up saving myself through divorce busting. For that, I am grateful. I have gone through the worst year of my life and it became the best experience I have ever had.

We don't always get what we want, but we get what we need.

I've deatached fully from h. I realized that not only was he unhappy in this marriage, but so was I. When we started to have different ideas about marriage, and when he cheated and removed himself, the cracks in the foundation started to grow. I agree trust could be rebuilt, but it's not going to happen with H. He won't do the work. I can't anymore.

I was knocked down unexpectedly to the lowest I'd ever been. I didn't think I'd ever see the light,and I'd hoped h would be along on my life journey. I was wrong. But...I am stronger, wiser, and grateful for this year.

I have listened to you fine folks, really questioning myself on why I'd want to spend my life with h. "because I love him" is a cop out response, I had to dig deeper. It was fear of being alone. Fear of finding who I was and what I wanted in life.

Addressing those made all the difference. It opened up new opportunities for me.

I am not a depressed person like I thought. I am in the best shape of my life, and I looks forward to what comes at me now. I do not live in fear.

I'll try to be more diligent of posting. I do know that I will not be looking back anymore. I look for opportunities for personal growth - I've just begun to scratch the surface on how messed up my relationship was to my psyche. i am noticing 'triggers' unexpectedly because of how my own needs in my marriage weren't being met either. So I am working through those so I can have a healthier, grown up relationship.

I'll be back