Total Eclipse by Dan Band

[2chiquitos]

Thank you BklynMom. Things are much better than they were a year ago.

Thank you NLW, I do feel like I'm in a much better place. More than anything with my state of mind.

Journaling,
Today I got a tix for talking on the cell. I was really tested with this event because before I would've called EVERYONE to tell them what happened. I would've let everyone know how I felt and I would've had this bad feeling all day and projected it on to H.

Instead, I cried. I prayed. I reflected. I realized I was upset because I felt like a failure. I believe I need to be perfect and getting a tix made me feel like everyone knew I was flawed. It was in writing.

It's crazy how something like a tix would've ruined my day and my interactions with people. I was able not to react to it like before and keep it to myself. I only discussed it with my sponsor.

This was a big improvement for me.

***
Tomorrow night H n I go out to dinner. It's usually somewhere fast food and once we're done eating, we leave. We talk during dinner but don't linger at the restaurant. So my goal is to go to a non-fast food place with him and next goal is to linger.

I should add that I don't ask about OW. Nor do I want to. I would rather see him moving closer than have to ask about him and OW to find out