The thought of a backup plan scares the hell out of me too. But for some reason, I have felt like I needed to have one. I guess I don't trust that my H can truly step up to the plate. I have IC on Weds and it should be an interesting discussion.

All of this is allowing me to start considering what life would be like without H. Not that this particular guy will have anything to do with it. But in my mind it was like a knock on the head from the universe telling me "Hey! There are many more fish in the sea!"

Re: not feeling loved... Well, the idea of feeling loved is a pretty powerful motivator. I understand the idea of loving oneself first, and that's been the hard part for me. I am being rejected every day and I struggle against it every day. It's all a waiting game now and I really don't expect H to come around - he doesn't want to.

Me54, H53
M 23, T 25
S20, S18
BD: April 2024
Moved out: August 2024

Love means not giving up on someone even if they've given up on you.

"Being right is the booby prize of life." - Susan Page