I'm very sorry about your mother's passing and the holiday will never be the same for you. It's important to create new traditions and honor her in some of those traditions. Your mother would not want you to suffer each Christmas Day. She may have wanted you to remember her in a very special way. If you would like to talk about your mother, please do so. What was she like, what were her hobbies, did she like flowers, etc.? Talking about her may help you a bit since your h is mlcing this year.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
