oh well- at least your d still wants to do something with you. my 14 yr neice is quite busy lately with new social life- 1st yr highschool- i know the drill. i don't mind - but miss my little buddy.
oh well- nobody in the universe around here- this empty house is killin me. got fingerprinted this a.m. for school substitute job- they sure put ya thru a bunch of junk - alll dragged out over long long time- geeeez. i never realized how impatient i am.
one of these years - now to find a tb test cheap!
i swear- i cannot gt past not talking to h for 3 or 4 days- we've never gone this long- i forget how mad it makes me to be totally totally totally FORGOTTEN AND FORSAKEN. OH MAN-
really suc_s alot. i just hate being nothin. oh well- like there's a darn thing in the world to do about it. either shutup and suck it up- or go ballistic and throw it all in the toilet rite now. i am soooooo mad and on the edge - how many million times exactly have i said that to you- fifty???
oh well- have some pins to paint for someone- need to do it- mailed my ebay sales- have a couple more gifts going out of town- to a couple neices . i'll make it i guess. one way or the othr.
i want this jerk to call- but i don't want to talk to him. i just want him to want to talk to me. maybe this is the end and he's out there somewhere steeling himself to just stay there with ms. wonderful. maybe they're on a love-trip with each other enjoying HEAVEN.....even if he did- i guess it would be something- something sad but DEFINITE>
I TOY WITH IDEa of just saying to him- if i am no part of your life's happiness - and she's all of it, don't bother to come.
i'll go give myself a lecture about stfu - i'll remember how long you've managed to hang in there- and hope your good example gives me some unexpected strength from somewhere-
oh well- stupid chores to do- stupid life to do - stupid non-existent gal to make believe i have. all my visiting- getting out of house- etc., doesn't really seem to be much of a life to me- it's just play-acting on my part.
i just don't have some activity for fun and someone fum to go do it with. like you- life was/is too wrapped up in h - nothing quite yet to replace THAT. OH WOE IS ME...
OH 0KAY- I KNOW I SOUND LIKE PITY-SPONGE HERE- I'M JUST HERE ALONE and really feeling he "bite".
