My wife wants to separate

[FloydMan]

It is borne out of insecurities. When trust breaks down, it is a big blow and if one does not care to restore it, it is impossible. That is my sitch. She definitely looks at me as the source of the problem. I used to react, up until several weeks ago, now it is 180 and Last Resort Technique. I think that is bothering her in some way. It has been easier for me to detach lately too knowing with friends, family and counsellor support that she is the one in another zone and not rational. It is sad, but helps. I agree with you on the friends thing…they just support the thinking. They are not qualified to help. MWD talks about well-meaning friends and family in her DR book. I too have had some of my closest tell me “dump her”. It really is that simple for people that are not stakeholders. I donlt really want things the way theey were in the last 4-5 years, but rather for the first 10, or something completely refreshing. She is unwilling to change, so I must DB and change myself….back to that confident, self-assured guy from days gone by.
Yes, how do we get the chance to practice? Every little encounter we get I suppose.