LBS gearing up for the long haul

[LITB]

I don't remember what I said to make her say "I just need time and I feel a lot of pressure" I know for sure I didn't ask her to come home or what she was so busy doing.

There it is DM. Quit putting pressure on her. It is as clear as day. Hell, I am piecing and I have to be cognizant of putting too much pressure on my W. I know how difficult it can be.

We want on needs to be met. We place expectations on our spouses. When they are not met, we come away disappointed. That old familiar emotional roller coaster.

Here's the thing. Try not to take these things personal. Your W is trying to find her way, just as you are. I know for my W, she must exorcise her own demons. They are not mine to fix. She must take the initiative to get to a better place. I must just get out of the way, be supportive and encouraging. Most importantly, try to lead my setting a positive example by working on myself.

Be a positive influence DM. Not a source of pressure.

My question is was it too soon to initiate a contact? My thought is, if I can do it without pursuing, and without getting bent out of shape, then trying to initiate every few days might be ok?

Let her initiate contact. When she does, make the most of these opportunities.

I like to use the marble analogy.

Let's say for argument sake you have a jar containing 25 marbles that represent your "opportunities". Every time you have an interaction with your W, a marble must be removed from the opportunity jar and placed in either the "positive interaction" or "negative interaction" jar. Obviously the goal is to place all of your marbles in the positive jar.

Unfortunately there are no guarantees, however you want to be able to look back at this time in the future knowing that you did everything possible to make things work.

At the end of the day, that's all we can do.