New to the site...

[heartbroken5]

I'm still here. I have been on a roller coaster ride. I shut down all communication and really really starting seeing things clearly. Then at the height of my strength, I started getting text messages, emails, and phone calls. I decided not to respond to any of them, until this last one:

"Are you there, are you ignoring me, are you hurt, has something bad happened? My dad has a tumor in his head and have to have surgery..."

Alarmed I thought.. he needs me. Then I thought, why tell me? I haven't talked to his family since before this D stuff. They haven't called to check on me, why should I be concerned, then I thought he's lying. I allowed myself to sleep on it before responding and then the next morning I called. Nothing alarming, a trick to get me to call him to talk about the divorce papers. I got a bit upset and almost lost my cool during the conversation. I hate, hate, hate, that I answered. I'm asking myself why would I even want this man back? He's played on my emotions this way all the while. My kindness and now I'm back in the corner, upset, confused, and emotional!!