Just as you are able to sense the closeness and the distancing with your H, he is able to sense the same thing in you. Instinctively, he knows that you are available to him when he is ready.
How do you change that dynamic?
By continuously GAL, being mysterious and setting boundaries. By demonstrating that your life is not only okay without him, but that it is great.
When all of this is done consistently, it becomes who you really are. In turn, it helps you to completely drop the rope. It will just happen. It can't be forced. It takes a lot of time and effort to transition into this mindset.
I realize that there are many fears that must be overcome to get there. The fear of them (the WAS) thinking we have closed the door on our M/R. The fear of upsetting them. The fear of loss.
A lot of times, it is our fears that slow or completely halt our progress. I have found when I run thru that wall of fear, that the reality is not as horrible as I anticipated.
In life there are dreamers and doers. Be a doer Busting and just do it!! Set those boundaries. Shift whatever is within your control in a positive directions to get you to that empowering place of happiness.
Take your focus away from your H and utilize it on YOU and your children.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
