My H has lied to me in the past, about some pretty big things. We would talk about it, and he would promise to never do it again. Then he would do it again. It's not a compulsive thing where he's lying about every little thing, just about things where he finds himself in a corner and it's the only way he can get what he wants when he knows I would not be on board.
So, H has promised *again* that he won't lie to me and has given me all of his passwords so I can check up on him if I want. He hasn't lied for about 4 months, that I *know* of anyway. It never was a weekly event, so I'd have to wait a year or two to see any real change in his behavior, if that was even possible since the whole purpose of lying is to hide the truth. Plus, I have no interest in spending my time "checking up" on him. He could just as easily have an email account I don't know about, so what would be the point. He never came out and confessed upfront, it was always after-the-fact because I found out about it. So, really, who knows how many lies went by me that I just don't know about.
In trying to R my M with my H, I *know* that he is comfortable lying to me. Whether he is doing it at this moment or not doesn't really matter. The very real potential is there. Not in an "everybody has the potential for lying" sort of way, but proven so.
Knowing this, I just don't know how to open up to him again, to risk the next lie bomb, when I know he simply doesn't have a problem with it.
