The LBS has a very difficult road after these words are spoken. But they're not the only one. The WAS has already been traveling a very difficult road for some time before arriving at these words. Since this is the WAS forum, this thread will focus on the WAS, and the trials and pitfalls of the journey back. Considering that it's not unusual for the LBS to become a WAS in many cases, it applies to many sitch's here. Hopefully, we can share our insights and perspectives and help each other to find a way home.
First, it's important to understand that the WAS is not necessarily a villain. He/She is a person with deep hurt, unmet needs, and no hope of improving the M. Perhaps they feel like they tried it all. Perhaps they feel like they just aren't being heard. Perhaps they feel like they would rather be alone than continue as they have been. If the person is a LBS turned WAS, it's pretty much the same.
So the question begs, "When you've reached the end of your rope -- and let go of it -- how do you get hold of it again? How do you even want to, knowing you chose to let go of it in the first place, and knowing it's still going to be a huge climb, one that you didn't have the strength for when you were still holding on before?"
I think probably one of the biggest hurdles a WAS faces is the ability to open their heart again to the person that hurt them so profoundly. To find the desire to even want to consider going back. It's not about forgiveness, though that's often the blanket suggestion. It's about regaining the belief in something that you simply don't believe in, because now you know things that you can never un-know again.
I'd love to hear about your struggles and successes as a WAS. I'm going to copy in a number of posts that I thought really spoke to this topic. Feel free to add some of your own.
