I also read in a post last night regarding LBS being frustrated with both the feeling of being in limbo and being sexually starved. We have absolutely no intimacy or physical contact and it's probably not good that's on my mind now also .
Yeah, that's probably done more to wreck my standing than anything else. It's not so much the sex part, it's the physical touch (my PLL) and the intimacy that I so desperately need in my life. I went without contact for 6 months, but I just can't live life with my love tank constantly on empty. So I'm not anymore. But that's not a story for your thread
I went back and looked at your very first post but don't see your W's age listed. I see you've been together for 20 years which makes me think she must be in the 40-50 range. Is she in perimenopause? Very early in my sitch I mentioned that my W had surgery about 18 months ago and was told she would start menopause within a year. Menopause affects different women in different ways, but many of them lose interest in their H when they start into it and start feeling caged in by their family. They feel an overwhelming need to "be free". DB'ing is of course about looking at ourselves and fixing what is wrong which is always a worthwhile effort, but I do think perimenopause is a huge contributing factor to what many of us are going through. It's becoming increasingly clear that my W is in it. She's always talking about how tired she is, she sleeps until noon on Saturday and Sunday and she's been getting hot flashes. What really surprised me is when I started talking to her about it, she knew nothing about perimenopause or menopause at all. I even had to explain to her what the difference between the two is. She has not discussed it with her PCP and has not had her hormone levels checked. When women start approaching 50 it should just be standard procedure for PCP's to recommend additional testing for this, and they should question them about how their personal relationships are going for indications that there may be hormonal issues. This is an area that's just getting largely ignored and marriages are crumbling as a result.
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