Is this the place for me?

[~ kd ~]

4311, I had time to give to your sitch this weekend and I have very little time during the week to be active on this forum, although I do check from time to time. Sometimes I just observe as is more the case, these days.

Having said that, I agree with Tori. I think you have a lot to offer this board and other members and I encourage you to provide your perspective to other members of the board, even if they may not be open to hearing it. I'm not saying to push your perspective, just engaging others on this site may help others AND... it may allow you to practice being engaged with others, especially when there is no other intrinsic value to be gained except for that experience.

I want to leave you with one last thought this evening.

Consider how X1 felt when you moved on. Remember that you moved into an R with X2 so did not have that "down time" that many have between partners. That time that many LBS sit and think and wonder "what went wrong".

Imagine that she may have been waiting for you to make the move, thinking to herself... "if it was meant to be... if he really cared about me... he will contact me..."

and yet... you did not...

You may think that if it is meant to be with X2, then she will still be there when you finally attempt to re-connect with her...

but then again...

she might be "gone" by that time...

[4311]

Yes, she might, that, however, has little influence on if I will contact her. Another thought, why didn't X1 reach out and try to reconnect with me after 6 months, after a ar? Was I not rth the chance? She had a whole year of mandated waiting period, yet, nothing. Would it have made a difference? I dought it, but one never knows....

I know she might be gone. More to the point, it is much more likely she Will be gone, that said, what was the likelyhood of she and I reconnecting after 20 yrs and getting married? I dk, sometimes it goes by plan, sometimes it's a crap shoot...

[tori2012]

Everything is possible in life. Ask yourself, is there a small chance I might succeed? The answer is yes. Now, direct your actions toward your goal. Avoid mind reading. Take chances....and keep posting.

[Cadet]

4311

I have been following along and KD has given you his POV.

What is important is how you ultimately see all these events.

You might continue to read up on WAS/MLC and then see how your sich fits into all of that.

My own opinion is your X2 is in an MLC right now and maybe when you married her too.
It is not unusual for two MLC'ers to think they are soulmates.

So whether that is true or not is one aspect, how you move forward is the more important part.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and EXPECTING different results.
Change what you are doing so you can get different results.

[4311]

I'll reply after work. Just ordered DB and DR

[4311]

are you implying we are not soul mates, Cadet? (:
Does that mean we were in a MLC when in Jr high, too? (:

[4311]

I know we are soul mates. What I've learned is that it takes more than that! Who'd a thunk?

[4311]

Everything is possible in life. Ask yourself, is there a small chance I might succeed? The answer is yes. Now, direct your actions toward your goal. Avoid mind reading. Take chances....and keep posting.

I hope so. I will keep going, I will take chances, I will keep posting.

[4311]

What is piercing?

[Cadet]

are you implying we are not soul mates, Cadet? (:
Does that mean we were in a MLC when in Jr high, too? (:

I am not implying anything.
It is up to YOU to decide not me.

I know we are soul mates. What I've learned is that it takes more than that! Who'd a thunk?

Exactly!
Maybe that is why you are here, to learn what you need.