Stuck between a hard place and the biggest rock.

[Big Bruce]

Lots of details, lots of things to think about. Brace.

So today I get there to pick my son. W is downstairs, and I ask if she wants to come along. She says ok.

So we go to my place, and in the car we do small talk. (Of course I do not mention R, or D, or legal stuff).
At home, I serve biscuits, juice and read him a story and play with him. W was on the couch, slouched.
So, I go sit next to her, and she started stroking our S and kissing him, like 10 cm from me. Oh I wished, I so wished we were still together...
At some point, I take a picture, I wish you could see it, I'm teaching S to ride the tricycle, and W is laying on the couch, as if it were nothing, as if we were a normal family. Disturbing.

We watch a little Blu-Ray, I play piano, we eat chocolate, and there's no talk of proceedings, of custody battles or anything, just neutral stuff.

Then, it was time, so I drive them back home. On the way back, I don't how it came but I was telling her how I went to hunting with my friend in Italy and then I said, "but I know you got mad at me for wanting to get shotguns and rifles, so I didn't".
Later, we were talking about death (I'm an alpinist, so naturally, it is a very present and real thing for us), and she asked me if I still was interested in going to the Anapurna, and I responded "nah, now things are different, I have responsibilities now" and turned and looked our S.
Those are two MAJOR BIG TIME 180s, they are 360 !
I used to being absorbed only by paragliding this, Nepal that, etc... and now I'm showing that my family and our S are more important than me!

Reading your comments, I then sent this :
"Would you like us to talk about a progressive plan/agreement to works towards via which we would reach a more equal parenting arrangement over the next few weeks/month?" thanks Bustorama

I even suggested that I was open to leaving young Bruce at her mom when I was at work. thanks Adinva. I even thanked the good work her mom is doing!!!!!!!
--> This way, I'm showing pure interest in S rather than my wants. And that I don't rush, to punish her or anything.

And it's not a tactic or a strategy, if it's better for our toddler to have a smooth transition, so be it. What counts is in the end that I can have him 50%.
I also alluded that the best for him was to have a mom and dad, and that I was glad the door was open to take things slowly between W and me : this is to try and clarify what she meant the other day... which I still am not sure of. (And if I ask now, I sure will look like the uninterested not-listening guy).

Please give me kudos. 8/10 at least, come on already!