My wife wants to separate

[FloydMan]

I have learned it is a defence and coping mechanism that goes along with the anger. It helps to justify when they can throw blame and ease their guilt. Your W knows there were good times but she is in a fog that won’t allow her to see it. Similar in that your work and the hours and dedication to provide for your family gets lost. Looks like we both missed the emotional connection we needed with our W’s, but we cannot take all the blame. We were doing what we thought responsible. Neither W really it seems communicated with us on that and when someone else comes along and preys upon their vulnerability (the OM was a police Detective in the area) it’s too late. We were doing what we thought was responsible and the right things to do as fathers and providers. Seems some mistakes aren’t forgiven.