Originally Posted By: Frozen
Hi Starbag. I hadn't read your sitch until just now and just wanted to offer you a virtual hug and some support.

My H and I have been living on two coasts for two years now due to his job. So, I feel for you with the LDR. My H had an A a few months ago. I still don't know the details, except for the brief conversation I had with her (though, in my case, the OW thought we were separated).

Living with your in-laws must be so much harder for you to have the space to detach from H. I don't know how you do it, you must be an incredibly strong person (even if you don't feel like it right now). Congratulations on finishing your master's program. With all the stressors you have been under, that is a huge accomplishment and says a lot about your perseverance.

Regarding your question about inviting your H to your upcoming event, my opinion...don't. Invite a friend, someone you know you will have fun with and then just look forward to the date. You moving on and having fun, GAL, that's what's important. A residual effect of that is he will probably hear about it. Now, it may or may not impact him, but the impact on you will be much greater. Try and go out and not think about him (trust me, I know it's easier said than done), but each time you do, the space between thoughts will begin to expand, until one day you'll realize you had gone all day without thinking about him.

I'm still struggling with a lot of the same feelings you are, though, my sitch is a little different. But I realized around Thanksgiving that I was punishing myself, not allowing myself to feel good about any of the things that used to bring me joy. That's when I started making a conscious decision to start projects I had been putting off, doing things that made me happy, making new friends or rediscovering old ones. None of it's easy at first, but once you get the ball rolling, it starts to pick up speed.

Good luck to you.


Hi Frozen, Thank you so much for this post!! So sorry you had something similar to mine. frown I feel like I'm not the only one. Sometimes I feel extremely stupid for separating from my H and regret my decisions so much.... But I guess I never saw this far, I thought getting educated more was good for us in the long run....sigh.

And thanks for your encouragement!!! I really don't feel that special graduating since this happened to me, but your words made me feel better about myself. And yeah, it was really stressful, looking back, I can't believe I made it.

Thanks for the advice. It makes sense! Yeah I won't invite H!! I want it to be a good memory not a sad one. Thanks for pointing that out!

I can totally relate. All these feelings, I can't believe I have them all and how consistent they are. I'm glad you are making changes and meeting new friends!! That's really really good for you! I'm slowly working on that too myself, today I went out and hang with an old friend, it felt nice. I almost forgot about H!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me! I hope we all will get through this well smile Good luck to you as well.