Here is a series of texts my wife and I just exchanged. I think this pretty much describes where we are. I feel that my work at divorcebusting may be done here.
Wife: I think it is best that I unfriend (facebook) you and the others in my life that are not being supportive of me. I dont want pictures of you with my old friends being rubbed in my face
Me: I'm not sure what pictures you're talking about. I haven't been in any, but I understand and agree that maybe you should unfriend me.
Me: Also, i spoke with the cell phone company. I can transfer your phone over to you. You would have to change your plan, because it wouldnt be shared minutes anymore, but then you could have your own line, own bill and own security. Let me know if you want to start that process.
Wife: Yes that's a good idea.
Me: I will work up a schedule for bills that you pay versus what i pay. I am not sure where your finances are right now, but like you said the other day, we need to move forward with our own lives. I would also like more time with (daughter). I miss her too much
Wife: That's fine and I agree we do need to move forward with this. I think a divorce is the best idea. I have spent a lot of time alone thinking lately and its not fair to just let you hold onto hope
Me: absolutely....i thought the same thing
Wife: Think about what you want as far as visitation and dividing up the house and stuff we have aquired
Me: I will want (daughter) 50% of the time, no less....that I am firm on
Wife: That is fine.
Me: house stuff we will have to talk with the attorney to see where that is even at. I will be honest, there is probably not much equity in it. We only own the structure and that depreciates over time....as far as our belongings, we can sit down and decide what you want to take and what i want.....your car will have to be refinanced if you wish to take that. It's under my name.
Me: do you want to get your own attorney, or do you wish to work through a single attorney to solve the details?
Me: I have about 2 grand to my name....im guessing you have even less.....that wont go far in attorney fees. I feel that you will have to incur the costs of that because you want the divorce. The decision to leave is yours. That is the reality of it. perhaps your mom can loan you the money?
Wife: Whatever I want 50% of the house value and contents. I think we need to sit down and each right out what we think is fair etc.
Wife: We are grown adults and can figure out something fair. I will work on that
Me: We live in a community property state....thats how it works....50%....im just saying that I bet there isn't much, if any, financial asset in the house. Perhaps there is, but I will have to talk to (our banker) and our (property attorney) to see....The things inside the house we can split evenly
Wife: How was that party last night? Enjoy hanging out with my old friends. Guessing once again they put ideas and [censored] in your head
Me: no actually.....we didnt talk about our marriage. It was a very fun party....and "your friends" have been in my life for a very long time, well before you ever met them.
Wife: I understand that. Enjoy them. Just funny how you bounce around day to day.
Me: Bounce around?
Wife: I am going to spend time with (daughter). Bye
About 30 seconds later, she initiated a phone call and started going on and on about how our relationship has been screwed up for a long time, how her friends are all screwing her over, how she hasn't got any support, how I am stalking her and making the situation so much worse, how I am lying and reaching out to all of her family... She's paranoid that this point and not seeing things even remotely clear. I don't think this is going to be saveable. That is a very harsh reality.
