I found this comment on another mlc forum and thought of you and your "OCD" h and his car.
"A lot of people here report that their spouse takes on many or all the cliches of a midlife crisis -- changing appearance even to the point of plastic surgery, excessively clean car, increased alcohol use or gambling or spending, sleep disturbances, a characteristic shark-eyed expression, abandoning almost everything from their previous life including their children and their possessions, and off-the-scale selfishness."
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
