Hi Starbag. I hadn't read your sitch until just now and just wanted to offer you a virtual hug and some support.
My H and I have been living on two coasts for two years now due to his job. So, I feel for you with the LDR. My H had an A a few months ago. I still don't know the details, except for the brief conversation I had with her (though, in my case, the OW thought we were separated).
Living with your in-laws must be so much harder for you to have the space to detach from H. I don't know how you do it, you must be an incredibly strong person (even if you don't feel like it right now). Congratulations on finishing your master's program. With all the stressors you have been under, that is a huge accomplishment and says a lot about your perseverance.
Regarding your question about inviting your H to your upcoming event, my opinion...don't. Invite a friend, someone you know you will have fun with and then just look forward to the date. You moving on and having fun, GAL, that's what's important. A residual effect of that is he will probably hear about it. Now, it may or may not impact him, but the impact on you will be much greater. Try and go out and not think about him (trust me, I know it's easier said than done), but each time you do, the space between thoughts will begin to expand, until one day you'll realize you had gone all day without thinking about him.
I'm still struggling with a lot of the same feelings you are, though, my sitch is a little different. But I realized around Thanksgiving that I was punishing myself, not allowing myself to feel good about any of the things that used to bring me joy. That's when I started making a conscious decision to start projects I had been putting off, doing things that made me happy, making new friends or rediscovering old ones. None of it's easy at first, but once you get the ball rolling, it starts to pick up speed.
