If I am judging, that's my issue. If you feel judged, that is your issue...
THAT... is splitting hairs...
Others may come along as Cadet and I have and support you along your journey. Eventually, you may also move to the newbies forum and start a thread there.
Your very first post here is almost the "perfect" post. It states all the "right" things. And that's great. You've been reading. You've been trying to figure things out. You are moving in the right direction based on that first post.
The devil... though... is in the details...
Do you know what SBT is? That is the process of DB. What ever the goal, SBT is a great tool.
Even while DB is a method of SBT, this board, and sometimes even the coaches, will do a little regression therapy, as context is very important.
Having said that, I really think that there is a very close correlation between your D1 and your D2.
As you indicate that you want to analyze (which you certainly are doing with your counsellor, I'm sure), then can you tell us what went wrong with your first M?
Why did you M her?
Why did you stop being engaged with X1?
How was the love for your X1 when you M her different than when the two of you D? Or was it?
Do you feel you emotionally mourned the loss of M1?
