Leave the board? Why in the heck would I do that? I came here for a reason. My intention is to stay here until this entire thing in worked out, either way. Then my intention is to stay here and see if I can help others....I am posting responses to your first two replies, then I will read your last.
Kaffe, first, THANK YOU for taking some of your energy and time and using it to help me. Second, yes, at times I can be very straight forward, perhaps blunt is another way to describe it. I will never be rude, or at least that will never be my intent. I am here for one reason – at least at this point – to analyze, with the help of you and others, what the h*ll happened, why it happened, and what options and potentials I may have moving forward.
Ok, here goes:
< you, my friend, had a MLC 6 years ago.> Perhaps, I have not seen it that way but I have not really analyzed it either.
< You still appear to feel entitled to answers and as though nothing else seems to matter to you, except for your own gratification.> Not sure how this was extrapolated from what I have put down thus far. Yes, I am here to share my story, get answers, and, if I can, help others. If coming here to get answers and being straight forward about it is me getting my own gratification, well, touche’.
< You left your first wife because you "did not love her [b]THAT[/i] way?!!" Are you kidding me? In what way DO you need to love someone to make a decision to marry them in the first place?> I can’t answer this question – I assume it is rhetorical, but even if not I am not sure what reply is warranted. I loved my first wife, I still love her. Are there different kinds of love? Are there different levels of love? Are there different stages of love? IS there such a thing as “loving” but not being “in love”? From my perspective, yes, a resounding yes, to all four questions. Now, if we are talking about the “right” thing to do, if we are talking about the “moral” thing to do, that’s a whole different ball game.
<reeks> definition: a strong or disagreeable fume or odor As I said, I am here for honest, straight forward feedback and help. What I am not here for is to be insulted or judged. Offering feedback, insight, opinions and experience can all be done without judgement.
< he wanted to relive their past> This is a possibility. But can people never go back and reincorporate past history into their current life without it being negative? I don’t think so.
< Or was your 2nd W already in the picture, before the first D's ink was dried.> My 2nd wife came into the picture before I was legally divorced. Where I was living there was a mandated 1 year waiting period. That said, we were living apart, did not have a life “together” any longer, and these decisions were made before my 2nd wife came into the picture.
I am not asking for permission from anyone to do anything. I am asking for guidance. I am asking for support. I am asking for feedback and objective reasoning because, frankly, the emotions I have are getting in the way of logic, and I know that, and I have no false assumptions that I can or should do this on my own.
What do I want from X2? What do I want from X2…..mmmm. I don’t know that I want anything from X2 – I do want something with X2 – or is that just splitting hairs? As I stated, I still love her, I am still in love with her. What do I want? I want to gain as much as I can from this experience. I want to continue on this roller coaster of life changes and realizations. I want to know if it is those who have gone through this feel I am, for lack of a better word, silly for wondering if at some point it is possible to reconcile with X2. And if it is possible, I want support from anyone I can get it from to determine the best life choices to make to at least make reconciliation a possibility.
