Stop The D

[justjudy]

Hey Spartan, I am really impressed with your goals, really specific. I might just have to borrow a few of them for myself.

It sounds like you are on the right track. You are focussing on your life ans changes you need to make.

I'm no expert but I would expect your W to talk about continuing with D even if she is starting to think differently. She will be nervous that the second she expresses any doubt about her chosen path you will suddenly have huge expectations. Also I think they latch onto this D idea and then find it really hard to let it go...pride perhaps? I'm thinking it was probably a huge deal to get to the idea of D and then they can't figure out how to back away.

Just my thoughts. I don't have any answers I'm afraid.

And I so get your "tell me again how this is so bad we have to D" thoughts. My H already left 10 months ago and I still think those kinda thoughts often as we interact. We chat easily, laugh a lot, catch each others eye in a little private communication when the kids do or say something. There's clearly still a connection even after all this time but he is resolutely heading down the D path. I don't think I will ever understand.

I agree that time in on your side ans you also have a huge advantage in that you are still living together. I understand that situation would bring its own difficulties but at least you have opportunities to show your 180s and use her LL and also to assess the impact of what you are trying. Giving her space would be key I think.

Good luck. You have given me very supportive feedback on my own post so ill make sure I visit your post regularly.