Funny I can't tell you what my H is saying but I can help you with yours. First, when you wrote that he said this many post ago you also wrote that he said "don't go" don't minimize that, he said it!
He's not ready to give you up nor is ow ''enough'' for him. You don't know what she is for him, don't assume. If it has really been so many yrs than why didn't he go then. ow is not the answer to his search, his journey to fantasy land has no real answers! He's not done working through his MLC!
i love you for saying this stuff and giving me hope to continue a bit longer. i fear hope - but it's who i am i guess (you too i'd think) i don't want to allow myself it..
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You have the same problem I do, you just want the man he was back, your life back, and your pissed. Your frustration comes from the fact that you have no control over him, me too. But, don't guess he's happy, or what he's doing, your gonna go crazy, like I will.
i know- i hate this guy, what he does - i miss that guy i loved who loved me. so, who is the "real" guy??? i am crazy feelin quite alot- geeeez we're sure kindred spirits. you'll never know how it saves me every day to think one person KNOWS what i feel- is trying what i am and feels nuts most of the time also- i don't know why it's soooo important to feel *understood" - at least by one human being -
[quoteI'm not saying you have it easy in any way, but we are truly both are own worse enemies of assumption. What you say about H's character is all true, your future concerns are all valid, but none of this anger we have helps. I don't think of the future, but I sure do hate the present. ][/quote]
me to , me to - me to....
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I sure do make the present worse than it needs to be by assuming, and thinking, and thinking, and OMG thinking! I read some stories here and gasp at the extent of the hurt that is thrown at people. I also read the success stories to give me hope.
I have trouble branching out & reading others here alot. i'm trying - but honestly it depresses the hell out of me- what people are doing to each other- i end up blubberie and incredibly depressed. i just can't handle alot more of this "stuff" - you're sure rite about the thinking. i tell myself stop - - mornings are worst - i could wake up and cry alot of days- very quickly tho, some coffee & getting busy get me thru another day. i'm doing much much better in the "don't wallow" dept.
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I just want to hear that you and I are heading to a better place finally, there is too much hurt, we are better than this, we are sometimes in our own fog, but at least we have healthy minds to get out of it, even if they don't, ever!
well- whether it's wine or wisdom- THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TODAY. I FEEL after reading your post that "I CAN DO THIS" for another day. i am not at my "end"yet- OR i'd be out of this life altogether i guess. you too i'd say. i do feel near it - ALLLLLLL THE TIME - but that's been , like, forever. maybe it's the state of being - while dbing. i don't think we'd even be trying if we were there- i don't think we'd be thinking if we were there (the end). i think when you-me-one achIEVES total absence of caring (maybe) then we're all ready to jump ship. like being in a burning building and you realize all of a sudden you're going to die from the fire- so what the heck- bombs away.....
did that make sense? i'm like a stinking bulldog with a bone- i know - it's soooo me in life- hang on - hang on- endure- understand- give another chance- suck up the bashing (verbal-) and "rise above it". i hate it about myself- i like it sometimes about myself- it's soo me. do we want to change that? the gal at the bottom of it all that keeps on enduring - stamina- what? guts? (foolishness?) i don't know. i don't want to be someone different. i really don't want to become what i don't like in others-
HTANKS SOOOO MUCH FOR YOUR POST i am serious- it is making me get plucky ad pick up myself by my bootstraps this morning and proceed with my life. go to the flea- find a treasure no one els3 sees .. go to the party t onite - stay one more day.
i think we'll both KNOW when it's our END- for the moment thank you for holding my hand thru this-
it's keeping me moving forward - no kidding. didja ever think you'd be someone's "savior" with your support? btw - i do think our "minds" are getting fortified and stronger - little by little- and our hearts - we're not 'rash" girls or impetuous when it's important. (maybe?) this seems to be important- no?
