What I am learning from H stages.

[albamarie]

What does he mean by that...I don't want you to leave, I wish you wouldn't, but I won't stop you. Home will be waiting if you need to return?

Well, h says he's not try to or having a R w/ea. He doesn't want me to leave because though he is not sure about himself, he knows I am not the problem.

He offered if I need him to he would go, I said that offers me nothing because I am the one unhappy and who has always wanted to move out of town, I will not be the one left behind here ( I know TMI to give him) but it came out!

I also added he is not trying to have a R w/me either because of ea, I stand my ground on NC. He said he understands my convictions but want's his friend. I said I will not live in il. he can live in this house, D18 comes w/me, our 3 S's can figure out work, but everyone will end up w/me eventually.

Then he says ea contact has been dwindling...they don't speak as often and when they do it is volatile because of her insistance he start worring about his marriage

Than he says if he can't talk to her, he will not talk to me...now he's spewing! I stood up to him. I said oh, so she's on my level, he says no your far better, there isn't even any competition, she's just a friend he can rant crazy spew at and her problems are worse than his!

He says his anger is still there but it is not like it was...there is no strength, no power behind it, it's like a weakened storm. So now he feels vulnerable, even scared that he can't push on and handle life's challenges (not that he was really handling anything-just between us).

He is facing his past and how it affects our present... he's not proud! But, he's not healthy either, he's lost, broken, and not reaching out, but doesn't want me to leave.

I think I've decided to not leave...I'm going to go for the ride, but I am going to be steering this in a direction for all of us, and if he gets off, that's on him to find his way back.