Last post before I start a new thread as I am now well and truly out of the abyss so time to summarise!
My temp promotion went v well this week and am now sure it was the right decision. A new challenge, met lots of new people in another office(got an invite to their xmas party too) and the time away has done me the world of good.
After the 6 hour drive back today went straight to pick S up from W. I was v upbeat when I arrived, W made me a drink and offered me some dinner to take and heat up when I arrived home (2nd time she has done this in as many weeks as well as me staying for dinner on Monday).
We had a general catch up and some laughs as well.
I have a few meals planned with new work mates next week so looking forward to that.
I have since the start of this thread adopted the principle that I will get on with my life regardless, maintain a PMA and keep limited contact with W other than pick ups and drop offs (pick up S from hers on Fridays, drop him at school on Monday and then drop his things off at W before going to work).
So far it is working v well. W has shown good signs:
- texts includes smiley faces, kisses etc for the first time since BD - not all but a lot of them
- we joke and feel more comfortable together and always have a lot to say when we do see each other
- she has invited me over for xmas dinner
- we have hugged the last 2 Mondays before I head to work. I even got a hug and a kiss that she initiated this week.
All this is much better than I could have hoped for so soon after she moved out.
I am still a bit guarded as I keep in mind that W may still feel guilt and there may be other things come out of the closet which may catch me out.
I have still not achieved my last goal for this period which was a joint activity with S, but at the moment don't want to push it either whilst thinks have stabilised and I know she is glad of the break when I take him during the weekends.
So I have achieved more or less what I set out to. I think it is now safe to start working on her primary love language (words of affirmation) without it appearing like I am trying to win her back or getting my head bitten off! so my next goals in the new year will be to work on this more and gauge her reaction.
Thank you all for your continued support even if it is confirmation that I am doing the right thing. It means so much and I hope you will continue to follow when I start my new thread....."out of the abyss". I am also open to tough love as I am still not 100% sure of my own actions so please chip in if there is anything I need to stop or do differently.